Dear 2019, thank you for the growth

2019 was the equivalent of a punch in the gut. Only, it was a punch in the gut every day for like an entire year. That junk HURT, man.

My thoughts are all over the place while writing this because I have so many words to say. I don’t want to miss any. This year was the most influential one of my life (granted, I am only 20).

SO, when our thoughts are scrambled and unorganized, what do we do? Make a list, of course! God showed me a lot of things this year. Here are a few of them.

Growth is SUCH a beautiful thing.

I was a wreck for the majority of this year. I was grieving, lost, and not trusting God like I should have been. It seemed like I was failing at everything I took on. Self-pity is very destructive, so it took a while to get back on track.

Once I finally got my head on straight, I realized a key thing. Growth does not come with a time-limit. It comes in pieces. Through friends, experiences, and even late-night crying sessions where you’re pouring your heart out to God.

Growth starts right here, right now. The little moments are progress. It’s okay to be proud of yourself for how far you’ve come, even if it’s only been a little bit. Trust the process, friends.

Vulnerability isn’t weakness.

I started this blog in February of this year, and it took me a while to figure out what kind of message I wanted to communicate to my audience through my words.

Sometime around the end of May, I realized that I wasn’t going to be afraid to let my raw emotions come across in my writing. Being vulnerable is so freeing, and it shouldn’t be associated with weakness. That’s where I centered my posts around.

I’m a really sensitive person (I’m a type 2, okay) and sometimes that gets me in a HEAP of trouble in the forms of overthinking, negative self-image and hurt feelings. This year showed me that it’s okay to be sensitive because Jesus loves me and my sensitive self all the same.

Practice forgiveness, but don’t let your heart be deceived.

There is a HUGE difference between forgiving someone and just being stupid, to put it harshly.

Forgiveness is one of the most beautiful acts we can practice, not to mention the fact that we are called to forgive by our Heavenly Father. We are sinners by nature, but Jesus still died for us. He forgave us for our sins because he loves us and that is the kind of forgiveness that I am trying to model after in 2020. Forgiveness is freeing.

With that being said, don’t mistake it with forgetting. Sometimes God allows us to be hurt in order to teach us a lesson. Sometimes, that comes in the form of removing someone from our lives. This isn’t a bad thing, but it is a necessary thing; and healing from losing an earthly relationship of any type can be painful.

It won’t matter in eternity.

This is my go-to phrase for just about everything. We love to worry about earthly problems as wee little humans. Thankfully we don’t have to because Heaven is going to be one huge worship fest that never ever ends, and anxiety won’t exist.

Hallelujah praise the Lord for this, y’all. Our problems will cease to exist and there won’t be any pain, or suffering, or crying (see Revelations for more,) and we get to be with Jesus forever.

It’s literally the ending to the best love story to ever exist, except it doesn’t end. What could be more perfect?

That boy won’t matter in Heaven, the number of Instagram likes you got on that bathing suit picture won’t matter in Heaven and student debt won’t matter in Heaven, either. What a glorious daaaaaaaay.

Looking back on this year brings up some pain, but it doesn’t end in pain. God will reveal all to us in His time. We just have to be obedient.

Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this post and any other previous posts as well. 2020 is going to bring even more and I’m excited to embark on those next posts.

Happy New Year, and if you need to delete Instagram this year, DELETE IT.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: